Another year ends, and a new one begins

it is saturday nite, i am watching football, reading the last three chapters of revelation to finish the bible for the year, and i am thinking about the last few days and how much i have enjoyed them. we had a nice visit with dan and lana, friends from our past. we hadn’t seen them for 25 years, and were able to eat some mexican food together, and meet their two kids, i think they were brock and paige. our last time together was nearly 25 years ago when we went to their wedding. my girls were there, and were the best rice girls ever, except that they couldn’t say “rice”, they said “lice”. i think this old picture is from the church where they were married. i still have a beatles album that dan gave me when i bought a stereo from him and lots of stories to share. marge, dan and i saw e.t. together and he liked it better than poltergeist, which we also saw together, but poltergeist scared him if i remember correctly. i worked in camp with dan’s dad who was a very good guy, and enjoyed the times we shared back then.

this is the best part of the holidays, remembering the people who have shared their lives with us. Lord, please bless and protect this precious family. we spent the day with ken and jan -can this be the 25th time?- we have ended our year with cards, laughing, and talking about the year to come. Lord, i have been richer because of the people who have allowed me to see you in their walk. these friends of mine have been generous, have opened their homes and hearts to my kids, and have given me a boost when things were down. I pray that you will use me to do the same for others, when they cross my path.

Lord, you know my heart, and my strengths and weaknesses. i give these to You as a gift, and thank you for working within me. in ten days, i will meet with ten to twelve men, to study the screwtape letters by c.s. lewis. this group is called “BIOS” which stands for By Invitation Only Students” and we will have a few weeks to study, pray, laugh and to grow together. i am excited about this group. Lord, help us to be confidential, and yet open to growth and sharing with each other.

one guy teaches at the college, he will be helping me. another guy teaches at the university. two are already friends and are leaders in our church who want to be more valuable for you LORD. One is going through a tough time with his family, and can use this as a time to look for your work in his life. two are very pensive and come to this group with strong desires to study and grow. the last three guys are new to my fellowship, but have maturity in Christ already to go with their desire to grow. LORD, when we start this group will you give us grace to grow and change and support each other? some of the things we are going to do include the reading of the book by lewis, one verse of the bible on warfare or fear, pray and support for each other.

what do i expect to happen? well, i can’t help but think of the times i have spent with friends like ken and jan through the years, and the intense time of growth that dan and lana were part of 25 years ago. who knows, LORD, i want to look back on this group in 25 years and praise you for the people you are bringing into my life to grow with today. Lord, we commit ourselves to you tonite, and tomorrow, as we start the new year. God, please bless those i know and love, marvino

Merry Christmas

i want to include the text of a letter that i am including in a christmas sack for the children of my partners in ministry. i have been trying to figure out how to say "thank you" to the children for sharing their parents. Our staff and their spouses have been wonderful this year! They include these wonderful people: Greg and Dawn, Lloyd and Susan, Gabe and Lori, Kevin and Sandy, Marla and Tony, Jessica and Tony. We are coming off of the best year of ministry that i have been privileged to be a part of, and i want to make sure that their kids know they are appreciated.

it is probably a silly gesture, but i like silly gestures. i have a cheap Christmas bag, and assorted snacks like popcorn, different fruit drinks, candy, and other items from the local "Big Lot" that weren't the "regular kind of snacks." i bought enough so i can give different ones to each of the children to sample and to create an adventure. i am including the following letter with a small gift certificate to a local movie rental place.

to the children of the staff, Gary and Dana, Rachel, Drake, Megan and Micah, Nicole and Becca, i say, "Thank YOU!"

Movie night on Marv
Merry Christmas and Thank you!

Dear Ones :

We are finishing the best year I can remember, and i want to thank you for your part. Your parents have been willing to work hard, and to share their love with many people through this great year. You might have had to stay home alone sometimes (or with a baby-sitter) or to watch your parents leave for meetings, or watch them talk to people who are hurting on the phone instead of spend time with you.

i don’t want you to ever resent that time; because of your parents, we have been able to honor Christ in our community and through His Church. Maybe someday you will know how valuable your parents have been, if you are like me, you may take them for granted sometimes! I know this isn’t very much, but i do want to say thank you for sharing your parents with us.

My plan was to give you something to share with your parents, maybe a movie you want to watch with them, or some silly snacks to share that you might not buy on your own. You might even have some to enjoy on some evening when they are gone to a meeting or are gone to a small group. Included is a gift certificate for a couple of movies, and some silly snacks and drinks to play with.

I have enjoyed watching you grow this year. You are growing in grace and becoming more like Christ every day. You have learned that you are loved. I want to pray for you today, that in the future you will remember that you have been a part of something wonderful in our church. Your parents could not be as effective as they are with out your help, and i want to thank you for sharing them with us.

Merry Christmas, 2005
Big Marv

Blinded and squinting people


why me LORD? i walk into any room and immediately see things that need done, usually with people who need help, and i take charge, and talk to everyone.... no wonder i embarrass my kids, BUT i guess an explanation might help them to see that i am not just an attention hog, but really am sensitive to people so that i can serve them for you, whether it is a small issue or a large one. if i don’t pay attention to these small moments, i don’t deserve to receive your consideration to be a useful tool in larger ones. i remember Paul Butler at OCC preaching about this from 2 Timothy 2:20-21, and deciding then to be a “vessel prepared for noble use”, especially when he explained that vessels that are not for noble use, are pots for human waste ... you know what! anyway, LORD, i am willing to say, "the sign is not working, the bridge is out, that is the problem!"

so, i was at the car place to get the oil changed, tires rotated, and ready for misty to drive to Florida for the wedding she is attending next week. i have an hour to wait, so i have reading with me, coffee with me, and three books, just in case. i sit down, and am blinded by the sunlight from the south windows, which have poorly adjusted blinds doing nothing to make half of the room comfortable. as i entered, i notice that half of the room is trying to read or watch tv with eyes squinted, blinded by the bright light, but passive and not involved in finding a solution. i immediately stand up and said, “ is it ok if i adjust the blinds” to no one in particular, and was answered in the affirmative by several people, either by words or nods.

after my mission was accomplished, everyone was able to lower books from shielding eyes and open their eyes more widely. i seemed to see a hint of a smile on many eyes. one girl named Jill even said, “it is about time somebody did something, thanks for helping.” since i was the last to leave, each person gave me a glance or a smile to let me know that my intervention was appreciated. i wish all of the situations of my life were so easily dealt with, and that they might result in such good reactions. Lord, why do i see those situations and get involved? why don’t others? i only know that because i am YOURS, i care about those who are YOURS or who could be YOURS, and i try to make eye contact, to smile, and to serve them for you if i can.

as i was leaving the place, i finally realized that i was feeling better, although my ribs hurt from coughing. i wanted to write a few observations and prayers for the day. God, i ask you to bless your family, my wife, marge, my daughters jojo and misty and my favorite son matt. in the last 24 hours, i have had positive interaction with each of them, which is amazing to me that they are so appreciative. jodi is anticipating our visit in March to japan, and has ideas about our time together. you know the plans for me to preach and her to translate. LORD, i pray for the details to workout with your will in mind. please help us to make this a joy for her. misty is feeling better, going to three different places even while feeling bad. she is so ministry minded, and such a delight. matt is working hard, and is growing in trying to keep control of his life, and keeping his humor during this time. thank you LORD for his ability to see things.

Lord, they are your family, but i am so amazed that you allow me to call them mine for a while. i take this responsibility very seriously. i want to pray for the girl i was following on my way to pick up marge. this girl had something like EZE 3000 on her plates, a bumper sticker on her trunk lid with the words “LEGALIZE FREEDOM” on one side and another one on the other side which said “Doing my part to piss off the religious right.” i couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to her to make her this vocal, and maybe i even wondered if i might agree with her sometimes.

some of those who are on the religious right do seem to be anti-freedom, and maybe even anti-humor. anyway, LORD, i pray for that girl, and for those of us who have made her angry. could we learn to be right with out being so smug? i wonder. all i know, LORD, is you deserve more than to be served by another generation of “elder-brother pharisees”. not whether we are right or wrong, but do we have the right spirit, i guess that is the real key. anyway, I love you LORD, and thank you for your grace and your humor with me.

I hate the fear i saw in his eyes

I hate the fear i saw in his eyes! i innocently stopped to pick the two young guys up to drive them the last two blocks to the school, but i was the one who got the surprise. i pulled up in my dirty white buick, and opened the window, leaned over, and said, “get in, i will drive you the rest of the way.” they were taking a shortcut across the church parking lot, and the awful winter conditions caused them to walk with their faces down and their shoulders hunched over. i leaned over to open the door, and one of the young guys moved away from the car, and looked up. we made eye contact, and i saw fear in his eyes. i was shocked to see that fear, and realized that he was seeing the situation much differently than i was.

to make him feel more comfortable, i laughed and said, “i am the preacher here in this church, and i know your dad, he was walking your bike home the other day when you had a flat tire.” with that bit of personal information, they quietly got in, and very respectfully thanked me. i laughed with them, and said, “ i don’t blame you for being careful, i know i look like a red-neck (which i am!) and i am glad you trusted me enough to let me drive you to school.”

why were they afraid? my size? i admit only to out-weighing both of them, combined. my age? i also admit to being three times their combined age. ok, four times. i didn’t lie, i am just bad at math. my race? we were different racially, and my own particular race hasn’t endeared itself to folks of his race. it was probably a combination of all these which made them fear that my motives were bad.


i have to admit that i am not used to seeing fear when i look at people. once only, with each one of my children, did i see them thinking that my size and my anger would win over my gentle ways to cause them real pain because of their acts of disobedience. the weird thing is, i can remember that moment for each child with a clarity that proves that i knew they were afraid in a very unhealthy way! for two of them, it involved driving incidents, where i was literally afraid for their safety. for one it was the cowering in the corner incident with hands over the face, as though i would hit him. i nearly laughed when this happened, because our “adventures in corporal punishment” had not gone too far, since for all three children this wasn’t the best way to punish.

i haven’t inspired fear in people very often, and i hate it. fear is so unproductive. i refuse to let people call me “reverend” because it is a throw back to times when the “clergy” were to be respected in a nearly fearful way. The background on the word reverend is instructive here. it is used only once, in the whole bible, in Psalms 111:9 “He sent redemption unto his people: he hath commanded his covenant for ever: holy and reverend is his name.” i find it interesting that this word is used by religious people as a title for those who serve Him, when it clearly says that holy and reverend is HIS name, not ours... but i digress, all to easily i am afraid.

fear. i am sorry LORD, i should fear you more, i should relieve fear in those who are controlled by fear, and i should work to conquer fear in all who are unable to make eye contact without fear. Lord conquer my fear so i can help those who are also controlled by fear.

my friend Brian just walked into my office and said, “Fear is a powerful motivator. i wouldn’t get in a car with you either. you look like one of those KKK guys.” So much for looks!

Friday Morning is different today

Don't you just love this cutie picture of my family, it is only 20 years old or so. i am so proud of my family, and love to remember those times, which were tough when we were living them, but were so nice to remember.

Friday morning is different today than most Friday's that i have had. It came quicker, since i rolled into the house at 3:00 a.m. from one of the latest and best nights i have spent in a while. my exhilaration had many sources. i was able to spend three hours in NARNIA! i drove the church van and picked up kevin, bobby barnd who is in his 60’s. Bobby made me the second oldest person in the room. we also picked up gabe, who is a delight to be with and to see him grow. Peggy completed our group. She was married to ron for the better part of two decades before he died two years ago. He was a quadriplegic when she married him, but she served him and loved him to the last day of his life. we met lloyd, susan, and rachel there too.

in all we had 8 who worship together regularly, and this night our treat was to be transported to a special world. i have read all seven of the books out loud, in the car while driving, and in a dorm room while sick as a student in college. i have read about the books in words by the author, have seen news reports warning us to avoid “christianizing” the books, and knew of the tension between lewis and j.r.r. tolkien his old drinking and writing buddy. They disagreed about the depth of religious content to use, with tolkien opting for less and lewis choosing to make his writings more overtly symbolic in his use of religious imagery. Both have stood the test of time, and have enriched the world for a full generation by their writing, even after their time here was ended.

anyway, i was dragged hook, line, and sinker into this fantasy. it was perfectly timed to move quickly, to make me cry when i was supposed to, which is a wonderful-freeing experience for an old battle worn warrior. Lord, please use this film to speak to folks like me who need to have a “punch-up” in the area of our emotions. I left the theatre feeling like it couldn’t have been better for me, or more true to the book. Lord, thanks for your many acts of love and patience to your children.


i was struck by the similarities to my siblings, mostly surface of course. i was king peter, naturally. Mary is Susan, nuf said. myla is lucy and marty is edmond. here is where it gets twisted, because in our youth, i was the “fall away” kid, not marty. mary was always the mother hen for the three of us, who were her “little chicks.” My family didn’t follow the story line, but lewis sure captured the dynamics of a family of 4. i was nostalgic, and wished for a closer walk with my siblings.Christ, will you intervene for me with my family. i love them, and am the person i am today because of the family we were, living with mom and dad, and sharing the good and bad of my youth. That part of my family seems broken, and i would love to see it healed.

i am including this picture of my siblings, i am the cute one on the right! you will discover later in this blog why i am including it.

Wednesday morning praise

It seems to help me to put a picture of my two sleeping puppies here. I started to call them my pretty girls, but remembered that my pretty girls might read this, so i wisely didn't! it is a good day to praise you, my LORD!

Lord, i praise you for this wednesday morning. i had a chance to swim early (since our bathroom has been blitzed in renovation... which will be nearly finished when my sweet misty comes home in 6 days!) i also got to drive marge to work, to read this morning in Lamentations and jeremiah, both are so sad and talk about the consequence to the nation for the choices of a few of her people. Lord, i want to have you help LLoyd with his friend Steve, from lovington, he visited our church for the first time this week, and his mom died this morning. i drove lloyd to get his car to go and help his friend, bless them both today, LORD. help

this was the lead article in our newspaper today, i had andrea as a camper and preach to her every week, she has made many mistakes, had set backs, and has failed often, but her faith in Christ is strong, and she is sharing her faith. i am so proud of her. here is the content of the article... the lead headline was, "Luckily, all my friends are dead or in jail." it caught my attention!

"College, job help meth addict through recovery

By DAVE FOPAY, Staff Writer Tuesday, December 6, 2005 6:08 PM CST

MATTOON -- The threat of going to prison and several attempts at rehab haven’t been all that’s kept Andrea Goldsmith off drugs for nearly three years.

“Luckily, most of my friends are dead or in jail right now,” she said Tuesday.

Speaking at a meeting of the Coles County Meth Awareness Coalition, Goldsmith credited an employer who was willing to take a chance on her and her entering college as a big part of her road to recovery. It really came down to anything that kept her away from the people with whom she used to associate and use drugs.

Now working as a waitress, nearing graduation at Lake Land College and soon to enroll at Eastern Illinois University, Goldsmith said having those benefits in her life will keep her on the right track.

“God didn’t bring me through all this to bring me down,” she said. “I’m going to keep trying.”

I was so proud of her, because i know that her change is genuine and has cost her a lot to maintain. LORD, bless her, and help her to live the decisions she has made.

Mike Nichols called and has the tickets for our flight to japan in March. i still can't believe it is going to work out, LORD, give us your help with the details and the flight, and the two weeks there. we really want to do all that you have planned for us, so prepare our way, and prepare us to serve you. What an honor to serve a God like you.

LORD, please bless my children today. all three have surpassed me in passion, integrity, and accomplishments. that is the way it should be. i praise you LORD for the privilege of serving you...