"When i am weak, then i am strong..."

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong..”

Paul said these words in 2 Corinthians 10. They were verses i read for devotions in the morning of a day of weakness and fear, both for me and for my kids. it was a day like many others, but one that again saw me dealing with spiritual issues and feeling like i was winning or losing, but always feeling a sense of God’s presence in my fears. As a leader i know that i have to be careful to trust you LORD, but i also know that there is something sweet about trusting myself rather than you. Is that what you meant about boasting about my weakness? In our meeting last nite, i saw fear as we talked about tough topics which are necessary but not fun. i know that this fear becomes a wall to getting past where we are as an organization. i felt the same for you kids today as each of you deals with fear in a different but very real way. Misty, i can sense in you that for the first time, you are starting to see how much you have bitten off in your quest to go forward as you have. i get to see you grow by becoming more completely alone. we both know you aren't and will be less alone as you continue, but still, aloneness is a part of your life that will grow less and less a daily factor for you. you sometimes are alone physically, but never alone, not really. your courage has to give way to trust and that is a good thing, even though right now you must feel like your weakness is overwelming. i keep on think of the lives you touch each day, your presence makes them feel less alone, too. Jodi i could hear in your voice and in your email that you are feeling things closing in, so i want to remind you of these verses too so you can rejoice that this is proof that you are actually walking closer to God when you walk in weakness, like you feel that you are right now. you are so brave, i can still see you as a pre-teen, beautiful and determined, when you set your mind to do something. remember when you shocked the kids in jr.hi by passing the "jock girls"? i do. that was your brave time, you had courage based on your belief, your faith in you, that you could do anything. when you set your jaw then, as now i believe, you could see your self doing anything. now your courage has turned into something different, it is becoming trust, which feels like fear because you get to walk into areas you couldn't run into by your self. i am glad we can trust our LORD as you step into those areas to be there already. Matt, i love seeing you sit back during this part of your life. you have always been much stronger than you think, and i enjoy even when we disagree (ok, maybe not enjoy, but understand at least!) because i get to see you discover an ability to do what you want, and to see things your way. again, you might feel "shaky" at times, but we both know that your character comes from deep with in you, and the key to the next few years. to you especially, but to all three of you, i apologize again for the times of pain that you have helped me through. i always wanted to be stronger,but when i get to reading the verse to day, i realize that God knew what HE was doing, and that all of this is a part of His plan for you. maybe we won't laugh about these things in the future, but we can get through the "valley times" by seeing the future in a different way. God help us to be strong in our weakness, to see our weaknesses through your eyes!